No Jail Time = Winehouse + Vodka + Assault

A British judge is forcing Amy Winehouse to do something she's never done before. No, not go to jail, even though the once perpetually troubled singer pleaded guilty in court this morning to boozily assaulting a theater manager before Christmas.

No, her punishment is much harsher than that: She's going to have to stay out of trouble for two years. Good luck with that.

The 26-year-old, who appeared in court under her married name, Amy Civil, copped to common assault and disorder for pulling the man's hair and calling him a "f--king c--t" during a family-friendly pantomime of Cinderella.

She was fined and ordered to pay compensation of roughly $300 and given a two-year conditional discharge. Which means if she stays out of trouble for the next 24 months, she's a free woman. If not, well, in the judge's words, she'll be "hit hard...and hit twice."